Erotica by Helen E. H. Madden

Another review for Coming Together: With Pride

2008-06-29T19:32:00.003-05:00

Here's another review for the charity anthology Coming Together: With Pride. My gay robot angel story is in this one. This review is from All Romance e-Books. Alessia Brio is the editor, and she's done an outstanding job. All proceeds from Coming Together: With Pride go to AVERT for AIDS and HIV research.

Coming Together With Pride is available from Phaze Books.

Cartoon - The Hazzards of Writing

2008-06-27T17:25:00.003-05:00

I'm still trying to recover from my non-vacation to Disney, plus a week of summer camp for my oldest child. The house is a wreck. I've barely managed to do any work. I would be two pounds thinner after traipsing through Norfolk Botanical Gardens all week long, if it weren't for the fact that the only easily packable snacks we had to take with us were all junk (yes, I ate my way through the garden - blergh!). However, I did manage to finish up a cartoon for this week. And here it is:

This has happened to me many times, and it always, always sucks. But you know when the characters take the story out of your hands, you've got something good going on with the writing.

One thought I'm having. I'm considering doing this cartoon on a semi-regular basis, maybe weekly if I can swing it. It's a lot of work, but I'm hoping that as I become more familiar with the program I'm using and I develop a process, I'll get it done faster. I'm thinking this could be a good marketing tool, no? Post the cartoons here, post links in some online erotica groups, etc. It's a way of attracting potential readers. If they like the comic, then they can find the URL for my writing website on the strip, come visit the site, see some of my writing and art, and so on and so on. Plus I could create bookmarks out of these strips and take them with me to conventions. When I was younger, anytime I found a comic strip I really liked, I always cut it out, laminated it and used it as a bookmark. I still have some of those strips too. Yeah, this could really work.

The First Review For 'Demon By Day' Is In!

2008-06-20T13:02:00.002-05:00

The first review for Demon By Day is up at Sapphire Phelan's Passion Corner along with my first interview as an author. I've done a couple of conventions with Sapphire in the past, including last month's Balticon, and I have to say she is great to work with. Sapphire has several publishing credits to her name in the romance and erotica genres, including Crimson Promise and Beast Magic, both available from Phaze Books. She also has a story in Coming Together: Under Fire, an erotica charity anthology (benefit relief efforts for the victims of the 2007 Southern California wildfires). Under her other pen name, Pamela Kinney, she's also written Haunted Richmond, which has been nominated for the 2008 Library of Virginia Literary Awards.

Thanks to Sapphire for the great review and for the interview! For those interested in reading Demon By Day, it's available now from Mojocastle Press.

First Review for Coming Together: With Pride

2008-06-08T17:24:00.000-05:00

Simply Romance Reviews published this review of Coming Together: With Pride.

comingtogetherwithpride

The Coming Together series is a charitable anthology series. Everyone involved, including authors, editor and publisher, donate their work. All proceeds are given to various charities. The charity for With Pride is AVERT, an AIDS/HIV research organization. Yours truly has a story about a gay robot angel in this particular volume. You can buy Coming Together With Pride from Phaze Books or from Amazon.com. The book is available in both print and e-book format.

Balticon 42 Quickie Review

2008-05-29T14:23:00.003-05:00

I am so swamped, I can't believe it. I mean, I'm usually swamped, but this past week beats all. So here's a quick update on what happened at Balticon and why I'm so frikkin' swamped.

Thursday, May 22 - After two weeks of wondering, print copies of Demon By Day arrive at my door. One hour later, my business cards for Demon By Day show up. The kick ass boots I ordered to wear at the con showed up the day before. I now have everything I need for the con. And guess what? Demon By Day is now up on Mojocastle.com. Yeah! I'm officially published.

Friday, May 23 - I had planned to leave at 7:30AM, but after staying up all night packing, I don't get out of the house until 8:30. I drop my oldest daughter off at preschool, stop by the bank, grab breakfast and snack from the grocery store, and finally hit the road at 10ish. Traffic is pretty good except around D.C. and Baltimore. I arrive at the con by 3 PMish. Not bad time. I hook up with Pam Kinney (aka Sapphire Phelan, famous paranormal romance writer) and get my room key. I'm crashing with her and her husband for the weekend. I also check in with Nobilis of the Nobilis Erotica Podcast and say hi to the staff and a bunch of old friends at Balticon. The carpet at the Hunt Valley Marriot is unbelievably ugly, and I am worried that my dress for Saturday night with clash badly with it. My first panel is that evening. The title is "Marriage of the Future." It's one of the panels I suggested for Balticon, and we have a lively discussion of what marriage could be like, touching on politics, religion, reproduction, property, and other aspects. My next panel is at 11PM. The topic is Sexy Women in Sci Fi - What's the Point? Just what every raging feminist should talk about. Again, we had a lively discussion, and although the male panelists sat on one side of the table while the female panelists sat on the other, no one bit off anybody else's head. After that, I hit the 80's party in my non-80's clothes (I refuse to dress in that time period ever again), and then crashed around 2Amish.

Saturday, 24 May - Like a fool, I get up at 7AM, shower, eat, and head out for an early start at the con. The entire day is one long blur of panels on writing, art and podcasting. I met so many fascinating people and made so many great contacts, I can't list them all in the limited time I have today, but here are a few people who's company I enjoyed:

Mur Lafferty, writer and podcaster - www.murverse.com

James Patrick Kelley - ultra cool sci-fi writer and podcaster, http://www.jimkelly.net/

Jared Axelrod - Aliens You Will Meet, www.freeplanetx.com

J.R. Blackwell - writer, burlesque girl, podcaster for Voices of 365 Tomorrows (http://voicesoftomorrow.libsyn.com/)

Tee Morris - Podcasting For Dummies, Survivor's Guide to Writing Fantasy, www.teemorris.com

Paul Fischer and Martha Holloway of the ADD Cast - http://addcast.net/

Nobilis - podcaster, fellow erotica writer, http://nobilis.libsyn.com/

Amber Rhea - podcaster for Mostly ITP (http://www.gapodcastnetwork.com/network-programs/mostly-itp)

Regina Lynn - Sex Drive columnist for Wired Magazine and Sex Rev 2.0 (http://www.reginalynn.com/)

Earl Newton and David Kanter - the producers of the ultra-cool Stranger Things podcast, soon to go into syndication! (http://www.strangerthings.tv/)

Matt Wallace - podcaster and writer; he wrote the script for episode 4 of Stranger Things (http://www.matt-wallace.net/)

Podcasting's Rich Sigfrit - He's Mr. Adventure. Need I say more? (http://www.outcastmultimedia.com/)

Thomas Gideon - podcaster for the Command Line podcast, the rough edge where society, public policy and computers meet (http://thecommandline.net/).

George Hraab - musician, podcaster, atheist, and all around very funny guy (http://www.geologicpodcast.com/)

J. C. Hutchins - author and podcaster of the Seventh Son trilogy and expert on crowd sourcing (http://jchutchins.net/)

And on, and on, and on. Like I said, the whole day was a blur. I woke up at 7AM to sit in on all the cool panels and finished up at 1AM after doing two panels - one on sex and technology, and one on erotica podcasts. Both were lively and well attended, which is very cool considering all the other things going on during that time period (like concerts) and the lateness of the hour. I crashed in the hotel room at 2AM

Sunday, 25 May - Trying hard not to drag, I got up at 8AM, showered, ate, and headed out again for another early morning. There were just too many frikkin' interesting things to do at this con! The highlights included a writing panel with James Patrick Kelley and Mur Lafferty and others on can writing be taught; a reading by Mur Lafferty from her current work in progress; the premiere of episode 4 from Stranger Things (that was the best two hours of TV I've seen in a looooooooooong time, no joke). I also sat in on the Mr. Adventure Podcast (http://www.pulpadventures.net/), then had dinner with the lovely Martha Holloway and Paul Fischer, watched the Geek Fu Morning Show: After Dark, listened to J. C. Hutchins and Mur Lafferty talk about and then got geared up for my last panel of the weekend - So You Want To Be A Sexy Podcaster. And somewhere in the day there was a panel on voice acting and character work, led by the fascinating George Hraab (http://www.geologicpodcast.com/). After all that I got to see the Stranger Things episode again (an impromptu viewing held for those staff members who missed it the first time), which was even cooler the second time around we got to ask questions about how the whole thing was put together. I crashed around 3AM that morning, but you know....

Monday, 26 May - I got up again at 8AM. Fortunately, I had packed the night before, and after I loaded up my car, I got breakfast at the hotel, said my goodbyes, and made the looooooooong ride home. I was so looking forward to going to be early and spending a few days relaxing before packing up to go on vacation in Florida. But when I got home, I found an e-mail waiting for me that said my manuscript of short stories had been accepted for contract with Logical Lust, but did I have any more material I might want to add?

So, I've spent the past week pulling out stories to send in for the collect, plus I've been sending out announcements about Demon By Day (I sold six of my ten copies at the con!), plus I'm trying to get out thank-you's to all the folks I met at the con, plus follow up on contacts for other conventions, plus finish off a couple of episodes for the podcast to run while I'm out of town, plus I need to get stories out to the ERWA writers group...

I'm swamped. But I'm happy, so if all this kills me, I'll go with a smile on my face. See you when I get back from vacation.

Demon By Day now available from Mojocastle.com

2008-05-23T00:13:00.003-05:00

Huge news. My first book, Demon By Day is now available from Mojocastle Press. Here's the blurb:

In the twilight realm of Daeva Shudra, there dwells an ancient race of demons. Once the most powerful beings on earth, the Daeva must hide in their underground city or be burned to ashes by the sun. The world above belongs to mortals now, inferior creatures with limited abilities for magic, easy prey for demonkind.

Between the two races comes Orziel, a half-breed struggling to survive the deadly schemes of his immortal kin. His only weapons are his vicious beauty and ruthless cunning. Otherwise, he is powerless and despised. But lack of power doesn’t check Orziel’s pride or ambition. All his life he’s lied, seduced, and betrayed to get whatever he’s wanted, including his lover, the demon prince Asheru. When Empress Shebazael claims Asheru as her own, Orziel swears he’ll do whatever it takes to take back what’s his, regardless of the consequences.

The half-demon travels to the surface, in search of a mortal sorcerer to aid him in his quest. But things go awry when Orziel seduces Jarresh, a beautiful youth with no magic beyond his capacity for love. Will Orziel stand by the only person who’s ever truly cared for him, or will he betray Jarresh to carry out his revenge?

I'll be selling print copies of the book at Balticon. If you're there and you want one, just grab me by the arm and let me know. And if you're interested in hearing the audio promo I put together for the book, check out this week's episode of the Heat Flash podcast. Heat Flash is my free weekly podcast of erotic short fiction. There's a new story every Friday. The promo for Demon By Day is at the end of this week's episode, so take a listen!
That's all I've got for now. I've got to get some sleep so I can drive up to Balticon tomorrow morning. I'll try to post a few entries while I'm there.

News On The Novel - I Really Should Celebrate

2008-05-19T06:45:00.001-05:00

Well, here's one thing I know I should blog about. My erotica novel, Demon By Day, should be available very soon. I proofed the final galley this weekend and signed off on it. The publisher, Mojocastle Press, is trying to get me print copies in time for Balticon this weekend. Meanwhile, I'm now busting my ass getting ready to promote this puppy.

I spent a year and a half writing this book, and then six months finding a publisher. It's been another year and a half editing and getting it ready to publish. I remember very clearly the day I finished the first draft. It was a miserable winter day in February, and I was sick as a dog. I was so thrilled to have actually completed writing a book, a real book! But I was so sick, and I had a fussy toddler on my hands, and with the weather so lousy, there was no way I was going to get out to celebrate. That disappointed me a bit, but when you're a stay-at-home mom in addition to being a writer, that happens a lot.

I also remember very clearly the day I first sent the book off to a publisher. I sent it to Tor Books, thinking I'd try one of the major print publishers just once so I could have a rejection letter. I was nine months pregnant with my youngest and just waiting for my due date to come. I remember walking into the post office with my oldest child Cassie, handing the packaged manuscript to the postal clerk and paying my money, and then walking out of the post office and telling Cassie, "Now that's done, the baby can come any time now." Sam must have been listening because my water broke just a few hours later. I had the baby around 3 AM the next day. No celebration for getting the book out, but we did have a little party a few days later to celebrate the arrival of our second daughter. My party outfit consisted of baggy pants and t-shirt, a nursing bra and leaky boobs.

A couple months later, I got my rejection letter from Tor and I promptly set out to find a good small press/e-book erotica publisher. That turned out to be Mojocastle, and I can't thank Stephanie Kelsey enough for all the hard work she's put into getting Demon By Day ready and out the door. I remember getting the e-mail saying they wanted to send me a contract. I wanted to dance around the house screaming at the top of my lungs. But by then I had my hands full with a squalling infant, so I didn't get my celebration then either.

So here we are three and a half years later. My novel is about to come out in e-book and in print and once again I have no time to stop and celebrate because I've got to get the next several episodes of my podcast produced, pull together all my erotica writerly swag for my appearance at Balticon, and then get ready to head off to Florida for a week's vacation. I could call the vacation a celebration, but I know I'm going to spend most of it chaperoning the kids through Disney World by myself.
I think when I get back, I will take a whole day off to myself. Well, no entirely by myself. Can't leave Sam alone now, can I? Although maybe I could hire a sitter for the day? Hmmm... Finding a sitter for the baby. Now that would be cause for celebration.

Blog, Blog, Blog...

2008-05-16T15:26:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what to do with this blog. It's funny that I'm a writer, and I spend a lot of my time writing, yet when it comes to this blog, the online journal that's supposed to be one of my biggest means of promoting myself online, I can't figure out what to do with it.

Part of the problem is that I have other blogs, including one for family and one for my art experiments. I know exactly what to do with those blogs. All the weird funny family stories go in the family blog. All the scribbles and doodles and artwork go in the art blog. Simple, right? So what's supposed to go into this blog, my professional blog? My adventures in writing? Um, yeah, I spend a couple of hours in the chair each day banging my head against the keyboard, hoping I can come up with 1000 words before my toddler wakes up crying for mommy. That's not exactly riveting blog material, especially since that's what happens **every single day**.

So what else do I do as an erotica writer/artist? Well, I go to conventions, but that's only a couple of times a year. I did an interview recently, but that was just my first. I podcast, which is even more writing and head-banging against the keyboard, plus some head-banging against the microphone. That's all very exciting, of course.

Um, what else could I blog about? Well, I create erotic artwork, but that it takes me forever and a day to put together a finished image, so that's not really a topic I could talk about all the time. I mean, imagine the blog entries. 16 May 2008 - I adjusted the pose of Michael 3's right hand, curving the first two fingers just a little bit more... I mean seriously, 3D artwork is very tedious to create (although the end results are very hot).

Man, I just don't know what to blog about that would make this blog different and exciting. I started doing cartoons for the family blog, which is great, because I know exactly what to write and cartoon about. But what's interesting about being a writer/artist that I could blog about on a regular basis? I mean, I don't even get into any trouble for all the naught stories I write, so how exciting is that?

Think, think, think... I guess I'll have to brainstorm a bit.

I Was Interviewed For The Balticon Podcast!

2008-05-14T05:27:00.002-05:00

Speaking of conventions, I was interviewed this past weekend by Paul Fischer of the Balticon Podcast. The interview is here.

Paul talked to myself and fellow erotica writer Nobilis about erotica podcasting, writing sexy stories, family values for erotica writers, and everything in between. We also talked a bit about what we'll be doing at Balticon this coming Memorial Day weekend, where Nobilis and I will both be guests working on the adults' new media track for the convention. We had a great time discussing all the naughtiness we plan to get into, so take a listen to the interview and check out some of the rest of the Balticon podcast. Also stop by and listen to Paul's podcast (one of my all time favorites), the ADD Cast.

D'oh! I Shouldn't Have Done That!

2008-04-30T19:45:00.001-05:00

Geeze I'm such an idiot. I did something I really shouldn't have done. And I mean I really, really shouldn't have done it. What did I do that was so bad?

I drew a cartoon.

Yep, the overloaded writer/artist/podcaster/stay-at-home-mom drew a little four-panel cartoon. It wasn't much, just a strip on what life was like today. And I wouldn't worry over it except that...

1) It took me three hours to do and...

2) I really, REALLY want to do another one.

I used to draw a regular comic strip for my college newspaper waaaaaay back in the day. I drew two episodes a week for four years, and the cartoon was pretty well received, but after college I stopped because hey, I wasn't even on the same side of the state anymore as the school so that made it pretty hard to walk into the office twice a week and hand in my cartoon. So I stopped doing the comic strip and since this was waaaaaaaay before the days of web comics and I didn't have another forum to publish in, I just stopped doing comics all together.

Then back in January I met Jennie Breeden who draws the Devil's Panties, an absolutely fabulous web comic that really takes me waaaaaaay back to my college days, and reading her work and talking to her got me jonesing to do my own comic again. Only what would I draw? The adventures of a writer/artist/podcaster/stay-at-home-mom?

Well, as it turns out, yeah 'cause that's exactly what I drew today.

Oh, this is bad. I have so much work to do. And I just got back from RavenCon this weekend where I had a fabulous time talking to other writers and artists and podcasters, including one who was a stay-at-home-mom, and I felt so understood and loooooooved, and I was so inspired to come home and dive straight back into work but then my youngest came down really, really sick so I've been home all week trying to squeeze in tiny bits of work around tending to a fussy baby, and wouldn't you know it, the first chance I get to sit down for three hours and do some work, I decide to do something that is nowhere near what's on my to-do list. And I really don't need to start doing this on a regular basis, except that I'm absolutely dying to do another and I've suddenly got all sorts of ideas, including enough to do three web comics for three different websites I run!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!

Oh man, just what I needed, one more damned creative endeavor. I am so screwed.
But hey, I had a great time at RavenCon and am looking forward to going back, assuming I survive this year.

So, How Have You Been?

2008-04-14T12:59:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I fell off the face of the earth **again**. What can I say? It happens. There are never enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do or think I should do as a writer, especially when you add in the fact that I also happen to be a mom and I run my own business.

So what happened since my last post? Gee, that's kind of funny, especially since I just went back and read that last post. See, I kind of had this mini-mega-mental breakdown. Let me explain. I have had a ton of work just sort of fall into my lap in the last few... no, actually several, months now. I got a series of digital art commissions which have taken quite a while to complete. I've been working on the book, Demon By Day, for MojoCastle Press, trying to get the final galley out the door. And I've been podcasting and writing non-stop since September. Oh, and I've been doing some promo stuff off and on with EPIC and EPIC VA. So I've been pretty busy.

For a while there, I was dead serious about getting up at 5 AM so I could DO IT ALL. I keep a to-do list on the table beside my computer that lists all the tasks I want to accomplish by the end of the day. That list had up to 13 or more items on it at the height of all this madness. That's 13 or more things to accomplish between 5 AM and 11 PM, which was when I was finally allowing myself to crash and go to sleep. Let's see, 5 AM to 11 PM is a 16 hour day, and I'm trying to get 13 things done (minimum) in that amount of time. Now keep in mind that my list included everything I was doing from washing laundry to writing to changing my underwear. But it was still way too much, and I was getting far too little sleep. Far, far too little sleep.

On the days I managed to DO IT ALL, I felt like I accomplished a lot but I also felt so dead tired that I was dreading the next day when once again I knew I was going to have to get up and DO IT ALL all over again. And the problem was, I could really only manage to DO IT ALL about once a week, if I was lucky. There were always at least three things on my list that I had to carry over to the next day. And so things started to pile up, and the work load got heavier, and as I got more and more tired from lack of sleep and too much work, I started having more and more problems getting out of bed at 5 AM (imagine that!). And so I started to feel more and more like I was getting behind because I couldn't get up early enough to get a jump on my day, and that along with everything else that was going on really stressed me out and made me cranky, and THAT led to me yelling at my husband and kids way to much until finally, finally, I just had this mini-mega-meltdown.

I can't even recall how it happened or what triggered it. One minute I was zipping about, trying to juggle the laundry with the writing while changing my underwear and the next minute I was curled up in a fetal position on the kitchen floor. I do remember the stench of burnt panties as the light bulb in the ceiling lamp slowly burnt a hole through my undies...

Whatever happened, I finally realized I had hit my limit. Actually, I had gone past my limit, waaaaaaaay past it, and it was time to slow things down. There were things I wanted to do that weren't happening, like spend time playing with my kids (as opposed to screeching at them at the top of my lungs when they accidentally spilled cereal on the carpet). I wanted to have sex with my husband (if I could remember what sex was - yeah, I know... I call myself an erotica writer?). I wanted to just sit and watch TV, because I'd been so busy I hadn't been able to watch a damn thing in months. And most of all...

I wanted to take a nap.

So, I took a nap. And then I went outside and played with my kids. And once I had a few nights of sleep that included me sleeping in until at least 6 AM, I even got a little quality time with my darling husband.

Needless to say, I have since made some changes to my schedule. I no longer get up before 6 AM. I spend at least an hour each day with my youngest at the local playground (that way she takes a nice, long nap in the afternoon, something she wasn't doing before). And when Sam lays down for a nap, I lay down for one too. I snooze for anywhere between thirty minutes to an hour. Depends on how lazy or tired I feel. And I've cut my to-do list down to no more than seven items a day (still including laundry but no more reminders to change my underwear -- now that I've slowed down, I don't need to be reminded of that anymore).

Some things have had to come off the schedule, of course. House cleaning was one of them. I was trying to schedule at least 15 minutes of house cleaning a day. I traded that for playtime with Sam. Other things, art/writing-related things, that aren't actually art or writing, take a back seat now to the main events themselves. When I finish up a big art or writing project, then I'll go back and worry about tracking down markets, answering e-mails, handling promotion stuff, finding that next job.

Because the work is still coming in. I've had more feelers from people wondering if I'd like to do some artwork for them. And I've got a couple of cons coming up where I get to be a writer guest and promote myself. And I'm still keeping an eye on the EPIC VA stuff, offering to help out where I can.

But I'm not doing it all at once anymore. And I sure as hell ain't getting up at 5 AM anymore. I need my beauty sleep.

Arguing With Myself At 5 AM

2008-03-11T04:56:00.002-05:00

With so much work going on, I frequently schedule myself to get up at 5 AM, just so I'll have a little extra time to work. But I'm so dead tired in the mornings that it takes a Herculean effort to get myself up and going. Here's the argument that proceeds between the good/disciplined side of myself versus the evil/stay-in-bed side of myself.

Get up. Alarm just went off.

Nnnnngggh.

No, I mean it. Get up. You've got work to do, remember.

Noooooooo.

Yes you do! You wrote it down last night before you went to bed. 5 AM - work on podcast story ideas.

Uuuuuuugh. Tired. Sore. Worked out yesterday. Husband feels soooooooo warm. Want to stay heeeeeeere...

Screw that! Get out of bed! You know if you don't get up now, the rest of your day is going to be shot!

But I don't waaaaanaaaaaaaa...

Get the fuck out of bed now, bitch!

Make me!

Okay, you have to pee.

God dammit!

(Get up, shuffle to the bathroom. While sitting on the toilet, the argument continues...)

Don't fall asleep! You're sitting on the john.

But I'm soooooo tired...

WAKE UP! You have to go to work!

Nnnnnnnnnngh...

If you wake up, you can have a nice hot cup of tea.

Don't want tea...

Yes you do! Now get up!

(Trudge out of the bathroom to the bedroom. Stand indecisively, squinting at the bed.)

Don't go back to bed! You're up now! Grab the laundry and head downstairs.

**You** grab the laundry. I'm going back to bed!

No no no! Look, just do a load of laundry! You have to start the laundry if nothing else. Do that and then maybe we can go back to bed.

You're lying to me. I know you are. Once the laundry's done, then you're gonna make me do something else.

Yeah, probably, but right now, grab the fucking laundry and head downstairs, okay?

Fine.

And grab your laptop and your writing notebook too. You know, just in case...

God dammit! I knew you'd pull this stunt!

Just grab the stuff and head downstairs!

(Grab the laundry, the laptop, the notebook and trudge downstairs. I set up office in the dining room and start the laundry.)

Hey, the cats are up. You should feed them. Because they're cute, you know, and they're hungry and you're a responsible pet owner.

Aw man...

(Grab the cat food bowls and head for the sink.)

Fuck! Michael didn't do the dishes last night!

Well do them now!

But I'm tired and I want to go back to bed!

Just do them! Put the clean ones away, load up the dish washer, feed the cats and you're done.

God...

While you're at it, start the kettle for some tea.

Nooooooo! Tea means staying up!

Hey, I didn't say you had to drink it. Just start it. You know, just in case.

Fine. Whatever.

(Start the kettle. Put away the clean dishes. Load the dish washer.)

Crap! The floor is crunchy. Michael didn't sweep last night either.

Well do it now then. Otherwise it's gonna drive you crazy all day.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. (Grabbing a broom.) I hate how you do this to me. You make me get up and then I have to do stupid chores all morning.

Well, they need doing. Unless you like living in a pigsty.

That's not the point! You make me do stupid chores until I'm awake and then I have to stay up because I'm awake enough to know I have work to do!

Well, you do have work to do, right?

But I want to go back to bed!

Okay, look! I'm tired of listening to your whiner crap! Who wanted to be a famous writer? You did! Who wanted to have a podcast and a blog and a novel and a short story collection? You did! And don't forget the graphic business, all those perverted graphics you want to draw, and the fifty-bazillion other things you keep thinking you want to do! You can't do these things in your sleep you know! You have to get up and work! So quit with the bitching and the moaning and do the damn work!

Fine! I hate you!

I hate you too! Are you done cleaning?

Yeah...

Okay, then. Shall we get to work?

I guess... What should we do first?

Um... how about a blog post?

Aw, fuck that...

Oh! Tea is ready...

On The Road To Recovery?

2008-02-28T14:48:00.001-05:00

The end for some of my projects is in sight. Hopefully, I'll get a rough draft of an image out the door in the next two days or so, and then I'll get two others finalized. That will clear the graphics work off my plate. Then I can get back to the writing.

I started shooting for 200 words a day on the new novel, and proofing 10 pages a day on the galley of the novel that's waiting to be published. I'm not even hitting those goals everyday, so it's going slowly, but at least it's going.

I look back on the last few months and I realized that I've been steam-rolled by all this work. It's great that I've got so much stuff going on, but it sucks because I'm struggling to get stuff done and still take care of my family. And somewhere in there, I'm supposed to take care of me. Not easy to do these days.

What's really bad is all this work and stress and lack of sleep has just about killed my sex life. Michael is out of town a lot these days, and when he's home, it's all we can do to stay awake long enough to get the kids in bed before we collapse ourselves.

I'd like to re-start my sex, you know? Call me crazy, but I think an erotica writer should have a sex life. I can remember a time when I'd get up early in the mornings to write something really nasty, and then I'd crawl back into bed with my husband for an early morning wake up call. That hasn't happened though since our second child was born. I wonder why? I wonder if I could change that? I wonder what it would take.

Hmmm...

Son of Sick Days

2008-02-18T12:02:00.002-05:00

So my youngest daughter Sam had the stomach flu last Tuesday; I had it Thursday (which just killed Valentine's Day); my husband came down with it on Friday (killing any attempt at a late Valentine's Day); and then my oldest daughter Cassie caught the bug veeeeeeeery early Saturday morning. And she is still sick today.

The stomach flu not only wiped out my family, it also killed my work week. Almost all of my waking hours the past several days have been spent tending to puking family members or washing up after them. I have done so much laundry I should open my own cleaners, and after a surprise bout of projectile vomiting last night courtesy of my oldest, I have had to disinfect my dining room from top to bottom AND wash all my dishes and silverware because my husband put away the stuff in the dishwasher which he thought was clean but in actuality it had just been puked upon.

Did I get any work done this past week? Well, I focused on small tasks that I could do between bouts of someone vomiting - mainly handling e-mail and writing crits for my writing group. I did need to do that, but that's not the paying work. All my paying gigs got put on the back burner, and I am hoping beyond hope that today I get three free hours to work on them.

On top of that, I need to finish up my local business taxes. Now there's a real headache. I hate dealing with financial things, and doing taxes is one of the biggest pains I know of. I think I'm getting better at it. At least now I keep all of my receipts for a year in one manila envelope and all my invoices in another. I do the same with e-mail receipts and invoices - just put them in separate, easy-to-find folders in Outlook. Now if I could just get the hang of Quicken, I'd be okay. I keep making the mistake of filing all my income under business, instead of salary, which means it all ends up in the expense category instead of the income category. Kind of screws things up for me.

I need to get through all this secondary work stuff, I need to get past all the being sick and cleaning up after, and I need to get back to the real work - the writing and the art. And I seriously need to focus on the writing. While I'm writing like gang-busters for the podcast, I'm not getting much done on the novel I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know how I'm going to balance things out yet, but I'll probably have to steal a few minutes today to refigure my work schedule again. I need to write at least 200 words a day in the novel. Otherwise it's never getting done.

Sick Days

2008-02-15T11:12:00.000-05:00

One of the hazards of working at home is that I have to deal with everyone's illnesses. My youngest came down with the stomach flu earlier this week, and then passed it on to me, so there's three days of work that didn't get done. I'm trying to make up for that today. I spent all yesterday in bed with a bucket nearby, unable to get up lest I vomit, so I figured today I would do nothing but work on the computer. Samantha is playing quietly, or should I say getting into trouble quietly, while I rest on the couch and work. Hopefully I can catch up, but being sick yesterday meant I did not get up today to work on the podcast, so today's episode is going to be late. Oh well. I can't podcast when my feet are coming out my mouth. Simply not physically possible, you know?

Story Up! That Old Black Magic...

2008-02-09T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's a very short story, less than 200 words, but it's up and it's new to the website. That Old Black Magic is the first story I produced for the Heat Flash podcast. So you can either read the story, or listen to it, or do both! Here's the link:

That Old Black Magic

Want Some Stories?

2008-02-05T13:34:00.000-05:00

I've been working on the Heat Flash podcast since last September. So far, I've written thirty stories and produced 22 episodes. Episode 23 goes up Friday. In fact, if you'd like to hear a new speculative fiction erotica story every week, by all means subscribe! I post a new episode every Friday. You can subscribe with any of the links below:

So that's the podcast. Now if you'd like to READ some stories, I will be working on adding some of the Heat Flash stories to the story gallery of this website. In fact, I may try to add on or two tonight, depending on how quickly I can get the kids to bed. If you like anything you read, feel free to e-mail me! I loooooooove feed back ;)

Setting the Auto-Pilot To Get Work Done

2008-01-30T21:26:00.000-05:00

My husband is out of town and I'm on my own with both kids. Today was just about work free due to our schedule - swimming lesson, story time at the library, a play date, hair cuts and karate lesson. I got work done only because of two reasons.

First, we had an hour of down time between hair cuts and karate. I made damn sure to use it.

Second, I set my auto-pilot the night before so I could get my lazy ass out of bed at 5AM.

Auto-pilot is about the only reason I can get work done with the kids in the house, especially given my current work load. I'm swamped with the podcast, novel writing, novel editing, graphic commissions, etc. I'm working my way through all this stuff and have said no to any further projects for the time being, but still, working during my youngest daughter's naptime each afternoon isn't going to cut it. I need an extra hour at least, and that's where the auto-pilot comes in.

The night before, I pull out my clothes for the day, pack my gym bag, and set up any snacks I'm going to need for the kids. I also lay out any other items I might need - permission slips, blanket for preschool, letters to mail - some place I can easily find them (and where my youngest can't get them). It's all set out for the next day. Then I make sure the alarm is set for 5AM and I hit the sack. When the alarm goes off in the morning, I crawl out of bed and trudge to the bathroom, where I have the following argument with my evil self.

"Go back to bed. It's fucking 5AM!"

"No. I need to work. I have a podcast to produce."

"You can do that later. Right now, you should be asleep."

"No, if I do the podcast later, then I won't have time to work on that e-book cover. I have to stay up and do it now."

"But you're so tired, and your eyes are all droopy."

"I'm taking a shower. A shower will wake me up."

"But the bed is soooooooo soooooooooft... And waaaaaaarm..."

"Fuck you, I have to work."

"The bed is calling to you... Can't you hear it?"

"No, I can't! Now fuck off!"

And I start the shower. Actually it's the shower that wins the argument, because I tell my evil self that I will go back to bed, but first I must have a shower. Then once I have it, I'm awake. Once I'm awake, I tell myself that I'll go downstairs to work, but as soon as I'm done, I'm going back to bed. Once I get downstairs and start working though, I usually keep at it until 6:30AM, and by then, it's too late to go back to bed, because I have to get my oldest up for preschool.

At which point my evil self laughs manically at how tired I am. But hey, the work got done, right?

Post Marscon Thoughts

2008-01-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

It took me a week to recover from the Marscon science fiction convention. I had a great time last weekend, but was very exhausted and I had a mountain of work waiting for me when it was over.

For Marscon, EPIC VA got together and paid for a dealers' room table where we sold books and CDs. We also did three panels, two on erotica and one on e-publishing. In addition to that, I participated in two other panels, one on BDSM and one on digital art. Looking back, here are a few of my thoughts on the weekend.

1) Selling in the Dealers' Room

a. Motor mouths sell more stuff. Pam Kinney and I manned the dealers table on Friday evening and Sunday all day. That's when EPIC VA sold the most stuff. Pam and I are both motor mouths, but hopefully in a good way. We had no problems starting up conversations with anybody who passed by our table. The folks who manned it on Saturday told us they were more laid back, and thought sales went better when someone talkative was at the table. I know for a fact Pam and I talk more than the rest of EPIC VA combined. Fortunately, we did not talk so much that we scared people off (I think).

b. Know what you're selling. I had no problems selling the CDs I made of my podcast. I knew what the product was and how to pitch it. Same goes for Pam. She knew her stuff, and she talked enough about it that I knew her stuff too by the end of the weekend, so I sold a few of her things as well. We had a harder time pushing the other folks stuff though. I could give general descriptions, but I would have liked to have had a list of blurbs for each book or CD on the table, a sort of cheat sheet if you will. It would have helped me direct people to the right thing and maybe sold more stuff.

c. Be able to SEE what you're selling. We set up a small set of shelves on our table to give us more space, which was great because we had a ton of books, but the table was really small, and once folks sat behind it, we couldn't see around the shelves to point things out. Again, made it harder to direct people to look at certain books.

2) The Panels

a. Give everybody in the group a chance to participate. I made certain that everyone who contributed to the table had a chance to sit in on a panel. Some of these guys traveled quite a distance through some nasty weather to be at the con. They came to sell books, sure, but they also came to GET THEIR NAME OUT. The panels were a great way to do that.

b. Always double check the convention schedule and post changes immediately. A few of the panels I put together had the panelists double-booked with other panels at the same time. I didn't find out until Thursday night, which gave the con time to change the schedule, but not to reprint the copies they were handing out. If I had been smarter, I would have immediately made up signs for the first schedule change and posted them where everyone could see them. As it was, the digital art panel had smaller audience than I think it otherwise would have had, and the book collecting panel it was switched with to fix the double-booking. We fixed that problem for the erotica panels on Saturday night by posting big fluorescent yellow signs around the con.

c. Let your audience talk, but don't let one person take over the entire panel. I was moderator on five panels, and part of my job was to make sure the audience had a chance to comment and ask questions throughout the panel. But the panelists need to talk too. That's why they're there. For four of the panels, it wasn't a problem. But for one panel, one guy just had to be the never-ending voice of wisdom. Fortunately, I have no problem cutting people off when I need to, and neither did the other panelists.

3) Handling the Money for Sales

a. Get organized! I should have printed out a spread sheet to track who brought in how much money for change in the cash box. I also should have tallied the sales at the end of each night. AND I should have waited until after I got home to disperse the payments back. That would have ensured that the money was tracked and kept in one place until I had time to sit someplace really quiet with my computer and figure out how to divide up the money. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. The good news is, we ended up with an extra $40 in the cash box rather then ending up short. The bad news is, I have no idea whose money that extra $40 is.

Final thoughts - the con went very well. We didn't make a ton of money, and did not come close to breaking even, but we did have standing room only in all the BDSM and erotica panels, and we had people say they'd like to see more of that next year. Plus, we did sell some stuff, even if it wasn't much. I got to learn how to handle a dealers' table and I learned what I need to do for next year. AND I was asked to work on programming for Marscon next year. It's not a big position -- I'll just be helping out with putting together ideas for panels -- but it's nice to know they thought highly enough of what I did for last weekend to ask me to help out in any capacity at all.

Next stop on the tour to world domination - Ravencon. I can't get a table for the con, but I did sign up to volunteer. I figure I'll get my foot in the door, learn more about the con, and have a great time to boot.

Very Tired Now...

2008-01-20T22:33:00.001-05:00

I got back from Marscon late this afternoon. I think the con was a success for EPIC VA, but I'm gonna let the other members weigh in before I say "Yippee hurray!" We sold a few things and had great attendance at all four panels we did. A lot of people were interested in talking to us and told us they were looking forward to seeing us again next year. The con staff also seemed happy with how things went.

This week I'll be sorting through the sales records for the weekend and putting together a detailed summary of what happened this weekend for the group to discuss. There are some things we would like to do differently next year, things that I think will boost our sales and help get out the names of all our members for even more sales after the con.

For right now though, I'm going to bed. I'm very tired.

I'm At Marscon!

2008-01-19T02:08:00.000-05:00

This is really, really weird. I'm at the convention. I have internet access. I have the hotel room to myself. I've been up since 5AM Friday morning and it's now 2AM Saturday morning. Holy cow! I'm a stay at home mom who's been let loose upon an unsuspecting populace!

Actually, things have been going very well so far. The dealers table for EPIC VA is up and running. We filled our little 3ft x 6ft table to the overflowing with books, magazines, and CDs. I spent the evening with Pamela Kinney, a.k.a. Sapphire Phelan, manning the table and chatting up prospective customers. I'm pimping the podcast this con, selling CDs of the first 16 episodes for $1. I just want to cover the cost of the CDs and the labels, really, plus spread the word about the podcast. Pam is selling "Haunted Richmond," which is doing very well right now. We've also got books from Changeling Press, Asylett Press, and Phaze Books. Lots of goodies to sell!

We did the first of the adults-only panels this evening - BDSM, what it is and what it isn't. The room was packed, and we had plenty of audience participation. A lot of people said they'll be attending tomorrow night's panels as well.

The best part of this con so far is that I'm getting to spend it with people I haven't seen in years. A lot of folks I went to college with are here, and a lot of them are involved in either erotica or BDSM or some other kink or fetish. So we still have a lot in common besides our slowly graying hair.

One thing has changed though. I really can't stay up till 2AM without paying the consequences. I've got to crash now or I'll be wasted tomorrow. Night.

Today's Work

2008-01-16T21:37:00.000-05:00

I've spent the last couple of days putting together CDs of my podcast to sell at the con. Each CD includes the first 16 episodes of Heat Flash. I made up labels to stick on the CDs once their burned and I've got slip covers to put the final product in. Now I just have to burn and label 100 CDs. I've burned about 75 I think, but haven't labeled any yet. So you know what I'm doing tomorrow.

I've also been doing some last minute coordination, making sure everyone from EPIC Virginia who is attending knows what to bring and when to be there. We've got all the shifts covered for the dealer's table now, and we have all our panelists lined up for the erotica and e-publishing panels. I know I've mentioned it already, but the panels are:

Friday, 11PM - 12AM
BDSM - What it is, What it isn't

Saturday, 10AM - 11AM
Should I E-Publish or Not?

Saturday, Noon - 1PM
Is Digital Art "Real" Art Yet?

Saturday, 10PM - 11PM
Intro to Sci Fi Erotica

Saturday, 11PM - 12PM
BDSM - Fantasy vs. Reality

Again, we'll be at Marscon, 18-20 January (next weekend).

Who all is coming from our group? Kathryn Lively with Phaze Books; Sandra Dugas of Asylett Press; Shelby Morgen/Margaret Riley of Changeling Press; Elayne S. Venton; and of course, yours truly.

What else have I done? More work on the podcast. Always the podcast. I've got the next episode ready to go, just need to put together the show notes and post it on Friday. Also, two stories that I've written for upcoming episodes will be published in the ERWA galleries next month. One is going in the theme gallery and one in the story time gallery.

Now I really need to go to bed. Good night!

Should I Be Writing?

2008-01-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

I recently subscribed to a podcast called I Should Be Writing by Mur Lafferty. In the latest episode she talks about whether or not people actually should be writing. Not because some people may suck at writing (she stated that everyone is allowed to suck at times, and I agree), but because folks might see writing as more of a chore than as a passion. If you dread writing more than you enjoy it, it's okay not to write. Just move on to something else instead.

What got me is that she talked about how many writers hate getting into the chair to sit and write. They have to force themselves to sit down. They loathe facing the blank page (or screen). I think maybe I used to feel that way, but not these days. I want to write. I know I want it. I feel like a junky who's missed her fix when I miss a day of writing. So yeah, I should be writing.

How about you?

This Weekend's Work

2008-01-13T20:38:00.000-05:00

Busy, busy, busy. I keep meaning to post before I go to bed, but between handling e-mail for Marscon and trying to get the kids to sleep, I just haven't had time. Or rather, I would have the time if I stayed up, but I am trying to get to bed by 9PM so I can wake up at 5AM the next morning and not feel like a zombie. 'Cause if I feel like a zombie, I ain't getting up.

So what have I done since Friday?

More Marscon e-mails, although that has slowed down a bit now that I have everyone's bios and I know who's on what panels. I still need to find out who's available to man the dealer's table throughout the weekend. I'll work on that tomorrow.

I went shopping, in preparation for the con. We need all sorts of stuff for the dealer's table - a cash box, price stickers, receipt book, pens, etc. The coolest find of my expedition was not Marscon related though. I managed to pick up a bunch of composition notebooks for $1.26 a piece. I use those suckers to keep track of all my ideas, especially for the podcast. Without the Mead composition notebook, there would not even be a Heat Flash podcast! Everything else I bought was for the con. Everyone is bringing their own cash box, so I picked up some index cards and a file box. I figure we can write down the title, author, publisher and price of each book being sold and keep account of how many were sold through out the day. Hmmm... we still have not addressed how to handle purchases of multiple books from multiple authors or publishers. How will we divide that up? Sounds like another e-mail.

I also bought blank CDs, labels, and slip covers. My plan is to make 100 CDs of my podcast Heat Flash and sell each CD for $1. Each CD will contain MP3s of the first three months of the podcast, 16 episodes total (if I can fit that many on a CD). The price is low, but enough to offset the cost of the supplies. I'm more concerned with getting out the word about the podcast than I am about making money at this point, so I'm hoping this works.

Writing - I wrote another story for the podcast. This one was about 650 words long. February's theme is "Fetish." I write the stories a month out, and record a week out. I also did some work for Inside The Erotic Mind (ITEM) over at ERWA, going through discussion threads from one of the e-mail lists, looking for topics to use for an article. I think I found one, also on fetishes. Can't seem to get away from the topic right now.

Podcast - I already mentioned writing a new story. I also recorded next Friday's episode this morning, and did a little clean up work on the audio. And I edited the story for the week after that. I want all my stories to be 1000 words or below, but this one is running a little long no matter what I do, and since I'm on a tight deadline, I'm not fighting with it any longer. Since I'll be at Marscon all next weekend, I need to record the next episode either tomorrow or Tuesday, rather than wait until next weekend.

And I think that's about all I did this weekend. Seems like a lot looking back at it. Not bad for three days work.

Today's Work

2008-01-10T21:18:00.000-05:00

Another day, another tired writer. Here's today's work:

Podcast - recorded a quick plug for a writing friend of mine to include in the podcast, plus I recorded a blurb on the upcoming Marscon stuff. Everything is assembled and uploaded for tomorrow's episode. I just have to push the publish button tomorrow morning.

Marscon - more e-mails to coordinate with the other writers and publishers of EPIC VA. We're getting our stuff together for the dealer's table and preparing for the panels we'll be doing. Panels include:

Friday, 11PM - 12AM
BDSM - What it is, What it isn't

Saturday, 10AM - 11AM
Should I E-Publish or Not?

Saturday, Noon - 1PM
Is Digital Art "Real" Art Yet?

Saturday, 10PM - 11PM
Intro to Sci Fi Erotica

Saturday, 11PM - 12PM
BDSM - Fantasy vs. Reality

I've also booked a room for the convention, seeing as how I will be at the con until the wee hours of the morning anyway...

Business cards - I thought I had the artwork done, but then the conversion from RGB to CMYK went all screwy on me, so I'll have to redo it tomorrow and hope I get the stuff in on time.

In addition to all this, I'm still struggling to catch up with laundry from the holidays and I've been cranky in general. I just chewed out some poor telemarketing schmuck for calling my house after 9PM. I think I need to go to bed now.